Are You Actually Showing Up for Yourself?

Or are you just going through the motions? Because there's a difference.

My partner said something to me the other day that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since:

“I’m happy to support you and take care of you, but you need to take care of you too.”

The reason he said it? Despite him doing more to help lighten my load, I couldn’t shake the dark cloud over me. I felt like my to-do list was neverending, nothing was working out in my favour and I sucked at everything.

This may or may not surprise you, but I can be the Oprah Winfrey of negativity. But instead of cars I’m like…

YOU GET A COMPLAINT!

YOU GET TO HEAR WHY EVERYTHING SUCKS!

YOU GET TO HEAR ALL MY FEARS AND DOUBTS!

🙃

It’s why I have to do THE MOST to take care of my emotional hygiene - because when my brain is left to its own devices, it’s a mean raccoon on meth with a knife.

Very aggressive. Very stabby. Very negative.

So, all of this is to say…I try as hard as I can to be consistent with my self-care.

I thought I was in the clear because I was simply going through the motions, but what my fiancé said made realize two things:

1) It wasn’t working because I wasn’t actually present in anything I was doing.

2) That when we don’t properly take care of ourselves, it tends to impact the people we love.

So I learned that difference between practicing self-care that works, and self-care that does nothing is presence. Let me give you a few examples:

1. Autopilot: Going to a workout class, zoning out and throwing my body around.
   Actual self-care: Going to a workout class, being present and attentive to the feedback my body is giving me and feeling the energy around me.

2. Autopilot: Asking someone how they are doing then not asking any follow up questions because I zoned out.

   Actual self-care: Being present in my conversations with others so I can participate with full curiousity and attentiveness.

3. Autopilot: Sitting at my desk and forking around until I feel the pressure to work.
   Actual self-care: Using some of the tools in my toolbox to actually cultivate focus and make that time count.

4. Autopilot: Laying awake at night ruminating.
   Actual self-care: Getting out of bed when I wake up and interrupting the rumination by reading a book or listening to a meditation to shift the focus.

5. Autopilot: Fill out my five-minute journal as fast as possible.
   Actual self-care: Giving myself the form of mindfulness I actually need that day (a walk, meditation, long-form journaling, a nap, etc.).

Turns out, being present (probably regardless of what I’m doing) is how I actually take care of myself and avoid coming unmoored. Maybe you’ve had to learn this the hard way too? 😅

I asked this question to my riders when I was teaching a spin class this week, and I think it’s worth asking you here and now:

Are you just going through the motions, or are you actually showing up for yourself and others in a meaningful way?

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Speaking of showing up for yourself…this means at work too.

Before I was a freelancer, I saw so many great managers burn themselves out. Here’s the common chain of events I saw:

• They didn’t have the brand voice, tone or style guide down on paper.

• So, by default, they became the “brand keeper.”

• They had to review or provide feedback on every word of copy that left the department/agency.

• When people disagreed, they had nothing to point to explaining why things are done the way they are.

Didn’t seem like a fun position to be in.

That’s why I created the Gold-Standard Writing Guidelines 🏆 package to help them free up their time, streamline content production and boost marketing engagement. I take this project off the backburner and off their plate and help them get their time back.

If you know a tired marketing leader who might need this type of help, please send this their way! At the very least, I can give them some free DIY advice.

Stay weird,

- Reggie